Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize