when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
