I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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