Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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