Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
