if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
