Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
