too bad you live with your parents still
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
