I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
