we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
