Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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