why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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