my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
