so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
we're so committed to being not committed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
