is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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