I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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