Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
