I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The uberlube is also flammable
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
