Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
