How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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