I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
