omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
