I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
