no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
