yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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