I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
