Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
