We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
