the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
