That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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