I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
