So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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