You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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