how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
