why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
