'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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