And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
