i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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