I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
