I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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