Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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