the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
