Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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