I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
