You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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