it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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