Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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