I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
