Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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