this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
