after a month anything with tits is on the radar
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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