Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
