Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dignity is for republicans.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
