OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
