Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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