I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize