easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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