I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
