Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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