wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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