I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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