thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize