He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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