hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wear drunk well.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
