a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
do nipples grow back?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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