you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
